Life has a Funny Way of Working Out

In 1990 Garth Brooks hit #1 with the song "Unanswered Prayers".  For those of you who don't know the song the chorus goes like this:

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers

Remember when you're talking to the man upstairs

That just because He doesn't answer doesn't mean He don't care

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

Whether you believe in God or some other kind of higher power this song can strike a chord.  For me it's really about all the things you hoped for and would have given anything for (in the 90's for me it would have been marrying one of the members of NKOTB... don't judge I grew up in Gillette, Wyoming) but looking back the choices you made turned out way better in the end.

When I was growing up my best friend lived a few blocks away.  The back of her house faced one of the busiest streets in town.  Often we sat on the fence in her back yard dreaming and scheming about what life was going to look like in the future.  A future that honestly didn't go much further than the age of 25 if I remember correctly. 

Back then I was sure of the following things:

1. I would graduate from college
2. I would get married
3. I would have a great career and make lots of money
4. I would have two kids
5. I would travel the world

Of those five things only one has come completely true, graduating from college.    I'm still working on all of the other four and it's even more okay if some of them don't happen.  I know from a recent e-mail (an amazing, make you cry like a baby, don't respond because you don't know how to do it justice e-mail) my best friend's life dreams and plans that were hatched on that fence are no closer to being a reality than mine.

I am positive that I never imagined

1. I would WANT to run a marathon
2. I would enjoy spending a day making jam and canning tomatoes and mangoes
3. I would spend most of my year as a single parent
4. I would give anything to live closer to my parents
5. I would be in a fight for my life and win before I turned 40
6. I would work in Opera and enjoy it

Tonight while canning tomatoes (because it's not hot enough in Houston I needed to stand over a pot of boiling water all day) amazed at how much I was enjoying myself I realized how thankful I am for those unanswered prayers.  That though I still enjoy day dreaming about what might happen if I win the lottery, I love my life.  I wouldn't change a thing!

Bug Warfare

Baby Chang and I arrived back in Houston on Wednesday to enjoy record setting heat.  Apparently it's been going on for quite some time...  Immediately we hit the pool (okay well after a brief nap) it was so warm it was like taking a bath.  Not that I mind, I've become quite a wuss when it comes to cold weather.  We enjoyed a quiet evening in our own beds.  Yes both of us in our own rooms in our own beds it was heaven.

On Thursday we spent time with Little Ms. Bossy.  Baby Chang hung out for a little longer while I went to the most amazing hair stylist.  She's so amazing I waited three months to have my hair cut and let me tell you it was well worth it.  If you are in Houston and need a cut or color call White Salon and ask for Caroline.  You won't regret it.

Friday morning I attempted my first Houston run.  It was sadly NOT meant to be.  Both (yes I have two) jogging strollers had flat tires.  No big deal Baby Chang and I just walked the stroller three blocks to the gas station to get the tires pumped up.  It was a slow amble more than a walk as Baby Chang insisted on pushing the stroller since she couldn't ride.  At one point Baby Chang stopped to get my I-phone out of the stroller, moments later a man honked at us then exclaimed "that just made my day".  "Which part I asked?"  He replied "watching her push the stroller" then off he drove.  I was sure he was going to mention the phone.  At two Baby Chang has become quite adept at using my phone to watch her beloved Bert and Ernie.  After getting to the second gas station to pump up the tires I sadly discovered one of the tires needs to be replaced so home we went. 

That afternoon I discovered radiation has struck again.  This time in the form of cavities.  More than I can even admit too.  Sadly, lack of saliva has done a number on my mouth to the tune of $1100 after insurance. 

Later Friday we hit the pool then had dinner with the Future Tri-Athlete (although she is a Tri-Athlete now so we need to come up with a new name).  Just before dinner is when it happened.  We discovered the bugs.  It started with ants then there was some other unidentifiable creature.  After Baby Chang went to bed and I commenced Operation De-Bug.  Out came the ant traps.  In following their path I found the ants and their friends had enjoyed a three month feast on the cabinet with all the baking supplies and spices.

Saturday morning Baby Chang and I got up early to watch a couple friends in the Clear Lake Triathalon.  They were amazing and considering the heat I was even more blown away at all the athletes.  We enjoyed the morning with the Future Tri-Athlete and her husband.  On the way home we stopped at the Container Store to buy new storage containers for the baking cabinet.  While getting Baby Chang out of the car I noticed what I thought was an errant raisin.  When I picked it up and looked at it, it was moving...  Looking closer I noticed more wiggly creatures inhabiting our car that had been vacant for three months.  I immediately drove to find somewhere to vacuum out the bugs. 

Yesterday, I finally got in that first run.  I took it easy as it was more hot and humid than what I was used to running in.  At least I thought I took it easy but when I stopped I simultaneously wanted to vomit and pass out.  Luckily I was able to keep it together and not end up lying in the middle of the street.  We spent the afternoon and evening with our favorite British family.

Today Baby Chang went back to school (aka day care) and I got the interior of my car shampooed.  It looks amazing.  I don't think it looked this good when it was brand new!  Needless to say Baby Chang and I are banned from eating in the car...  Tonight we spent some much needed time with Ba Ma and Paw Paw (Prairie Dad's parents).

Tomorrow starts the new round of doctor appointments.  Though the big ones aren't until after Labor Day keep your fingers crossed that everyone still thinks the spots on the last PET Scan are nothing.

Well since this has become a book it's obviously time to kill more bugs!

End of Summer

I have officially seen the signs that summer is over.  All of my life I've lived on an academic calendar.  My parents (and most of my Aunts and Uncles) were teachers so we always had summers off together.  Though I've worked most summers since my senior year in high school I've always had that back to the real world feeling come the end of August beginning of September.

One of the most significant signs of the end of summer as a kid was the start of football practice.  Dad Chang was a football coach and then football ref until retirement.  That was when he had to go back to work each summer and the traveling ended.  Well last week at Bemidji State I watched the Beavers hit the practice field for two a day practices.

Today as I was running through the St. Cloud State campus it was Welcome Back/Move-in Day.  The Freshman were moving into their dorms while upper classmen were out directing traffic.  A sure sign summer is over.

Next Wednesday Baby Chang and I return to Houston.  Where the heat will make it feel like the middle of July, the chores and appointments will surely signify the end of summer vacation.  Baby Chang will head back to daycare and I will be back at work before we know it.

It has been an amazing, crazy, travel-filled summer but now it's time to get back to the "real world".

Dragons and Cancer and Cake OH MY

Everywhere you go, everything you do is touched by cancer.  There are hundreds of sporting events designated as fund raisers.  Ads on TV and the Internet remind you that it affects the young and the old.  No one is immune. 

Recently Prairie Dad competed with his cast and crew in the Dragon Boat Races in Bemidji, MN.  As Baby Chang and I were walking up to watch his second race a rose ceremony was taking place.  A boat of Breast Cancer survivors had just completed their race and were throwing roses into the lake.  The roses were to represent all who had been affected by cancer.  A second boat of men and women who had been touched by prostate cancer joined in the ceremony.  In their boat one white rose was thrown (instead of the red everyone else threw) to honor a member of their team who was just starting their battle.  Meanwhile the Beltrami County Relay for Life organizers had a tent set up offering cake to all survivors, as a way to celebrate their birthdays. 

As Baby Chang enjoyed my cupcake it dawned on me that this disease has become such a part of our everyday lives that no one bats an eye when an event like the Dragon Boat Races take a moment of silence in honor of those who lost their battles, while celebrating those who have survived.  This wasn't a "cancer" event it was a community event.

Recently the families of two very dear friends have begun their cancer journey.  A mother diagnosed with breast cancer and a grandmother with stomach and esophageal cancer.  Each of my friends are finding their way down what can often be a very lonely path.  Even though this disease affects millions every day every one's journey is different.  Though people can give advice and doctors can tell you what to expect no two experiences are exactly the same.  I hope for my friends that my fight can help them in some way. 

As a survivor you become a member of a club you never asked to join.  The one thing that membership allows is for you to be an ambassador for others.  Someone recently asked if I felt like I had become a cancer guru.  They wondered if I tired of talking about my disease or giving advice to others.  I never mind talking about my experience, especially if I think it will help someone else. 

So perhaps it's not such a bad thing that cancer has infiltrated not only the cells in our bodies but events such as the Dragon Boat Festival.  If taking a moment to recognize the journey many have undertaken makes even one person's path easier it is worth it.  My adventure is only part way done but many people have held my hand and helped show me the way.  I only hope I can do the same for others.

What the World Needs Now

The world made me a little sadder today.  We spend a lot of time listening to National Public Radio and Minnesota Public Radio in our home.  As you may have heard there are a few riots happening in London and it's all (rightfully so) that is being spoken about.  Due to regrettable violence by the police things have escalated beyond anything England has ever seen. 

What makes me sad about this, okay a lot of things make me sad about this, but the thing that really gets to me is "How have we gotten to a place that this is how we resolve conflict?".  It seems more and more that people (not all people) have forgotten what it means to respect one another's differences.  To understand that we all make mistakes and if we are ignorant about the facts help teach each other.  We all have a difference of opinions and rather than drawing lines in the sand TALK, COMMUNICATE!

You will not always be right and I will not always be right.  We spend a lot of time trying to teach Baby Chang that she can't always get her way and that instead of hitting or screaming she needs to use her words.  She needs to tell us why she is upset.  Sometimes she will need to share or give in even if she doesn't want to, in the end it just may be better for everyone.

Recently, on Facebook there of course has been a lot of talk about what is happening in Washington D.C. or maybe what isn't happening in Washington D.C.  Again this makes me sad.  Not because people don't agree with my ideals or because they have more conservative opinions than me.  It makes me sad to see friends and colleagues who I believe to be very intelligent belittle the work of our leaders by name calling just because they don't see eye to eye with them.  I've seen Republicans called terrorists and Democrats called pussies and perhaps worst of all is the names the President of the United States has been referred to as.  I believe in Freedom of Speech but I think I believe more in the Golden Rule.  The men and women we elect have an extremely difficult job.  They don't always do it well but we need to give them the benefit of the doubt.  If it doesn't work out the way you want it to VOTE!

Adding to my disappointment today was the graffiti at the park we took Baby Chang to this afternoon.  It wasn't obvious or loud and garish, it was hidden.  Written in a place where usually only children would climb.  I only saw it when I happened to stick my head into the small area in which Baby Chang was playing. Someone had tried to cover up the worst of it but alas it was legible and none to imaginative.   I don't consider myself a prude but I have to wonder why it's necessary to deface a children's park in such a way.  By the way there is a T in Bitch.

Have we gotten to a place and time when as individuals we see ourselves as more important than the people around us?  Can't we remember to take a moment and walk in the shoes of someone else?  Does the innocence of our children means less than the freedom of poorly spelled x-rated expression?

Maybe it's time for us all to take a collective deep breath and take a step back to remember what really is important in our world. 

And now I'll take a giant leap off my soap box!

Inspiration

Last fall I started running and after a few weeks (and watching Spirit of the Marathon on Hulu.com) I was convinced I should run a marathon.  I even convinced a couple co-workers to at least run a half with me.  Sadly, due to my Thanksgiving get away at St. Luke's Hospital there was no way for me to train safely.  In fact it took me until July to truly find any inspiration to start running regularly again.

However, I found my inspiration along the Mississippi River in Minneapolis.  It was re-enforced at the farm over the 4th.  Lately I've been running along Lake Bemidji in Northern Minnesota.  I'm averaging 3.5 miles every other day.  Some days it's longer like the five miles I did a week ago and some days I find it hard to finish two.  Many days - like this morning - I start off thinking two miles just make it two miles.  Then the music starts pumping and my legs get warmed up and next thing I know almost four miles have gone by.  The best part of my Bemidji runs is cooling down and stretching by the lake or maybe the chocolate milk I get to drink afterwards.  Did you know chocolate milk is the perfect protein to carb ratio for post work-out? 

The thing that inspires me most to run is walking in the door post run and hearing "How's your running Mommy?" or "You all sweaty!".  In those moments I know that I am running for reasons bigger than myself.  I know that already Baby Chang sees the importance of exercise even if she doesn't know that's what it is.  I'm hoping my habits will inspire her to a lifetime of good habits.  Hopefully, if she can learn by example she won't have to fight the big C or if she has to she'll be strong enough to look it square in the eye and give it the finger!

Now if i could only get her to eat fruits and vegetables and drink her chocolate milk!