It has been another week of doctor appointments. Except for Baby Chang's pediatrician it was all new doctors.
Let's start with Baby Chang... It was her one year check-up and she is doing great. She is 31 inches tall which is in the 95th percentile (basically that means out of 100 girls her age 95 would be shorter) and she weighs 22 lbs, 11 oz which is in the 75th percentile. I've always known she is above average. I'm also pretty sure a few of those inches happened in the last few days. She can now turn the lights off but can't quite get high enough to turn the switch back on.
I went to yet another ENT this week, yep that makes four in less than a year. This appointment was because my right ear was congested and I couldn't get anything to pop. I had to see a new Doc because I couldn't get into see either of my other ENT's and plus I was told "they don't do ears anyway". WHAT? You are an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor how is it possible? Just one more way the medical community baffles me. Anyway, the New Doc broke the good news that this could now be a chronic problem as a result of the Radiation. If I can't get the fluid to drain I may need tubes put in my ear. He popped my ear for me, which is a very strange sensation, but today it plugged back up. After a few hours of trying I finally got my ear to pop but I'm doubtful it will stay open and it doesn't feel like anything is draining.
The other new doctor I went to this week is an Internist. I have been having this amazing sensation for the last week and a half. It seems that every time I lower my head my there would be a tingling sensation running down my legs. From time to time if I'm in the right position it also makes my hands go numb. Well, she sent me for a Spine X-ray and an MRI (with and without contrast). Seems like radiation is to blame again. The first fear was that the cancer had returned in a new spot, thankfully this is NOT the case. What has happened is that it appears my spinal cord is ever so slightly swollen. The radiologist who read the MRI said she wouldn't even have noted it if it weren't for my history. So what's next? Yet another new doctor, a neurologist.
In case you were wondering I now have the following doctors (many of whom I see every two months):
1. ENT - Head and Neck Cancer Specialist
2. ENT - Did the surgery that found the cancer
3. Oncologist - Poisoned me with chemo
4. Radiation Oncologist - Totally screwed up my body with Radiation
5. ENT - Ear specialist because the first two don't do ears
6. Internist - The General Practice guru
7. OB/GYN - The woman who sees me - all of me - once a year
8. OB/GYN - Fertilization specialist just in case the chemo and radiation really screwed me up.
9. ENT - Based in Minneapolis just for good measure
10. Neurologist - The newest yet to be named.
SERIOUSLY who needs this many doctors!!!! This doesn't even count Baby Chang's two pediatricians!
If new side effects keep popping up who knows how big the list could be. I do need a good dermatologist if anyone can recommend one...
Friday, May 28, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Baby Chang's big milestones
Friday was Baby Chang's first birthday. I KNOW! WHERE DID THE YEAR GO? It seems like just yesterday I was handing her back to my Mom so I could throw up one more time while they sewed my abdomen back together.
On Thursday Prairie Dad and I threw a little party for her in a hotel in Dallas. Many of the Little House cast came and sang happy birthday, ate cake with Prairie Dad's favorite ice cream and drank champagne. Now if you had asked before the party I would have been convinced Baby Chang would dive into the cake with both hands. Boy was I wrong, she didn't even touch the thing. I'm not sure she's actually related to me either because she had two bites of ice cream then nothing. Even when she saw Mommy and Daddy eating she wanted none of it, she could not be bothered.
Fast forward to Friday night and cake #2 again nothing. Well, today could have explained a lot. It was off to the ER for Baby Chang. Since Wednesday she had been running a fever off and on. Last night it seemed to come back with a vengeance and today she seemed a little sluggish. She did great while they checked her ears and throat and didn't even wince when they inserted the thermometer...rectally, and she only cried a little when they put in a catheter to check for an urinary tract infection. All was well, no infection just a little virus that we can't do anything about. Well a virus and teething (which I've been assured isn't causing the fever). Finally, today a tooth started to make an appearance. I couldn't be happier or more miserable watching her go through all of this when nothing seems to make her feel better. Luckily Mama Chang is here for lots of cuddling because did I mention I'm back at work this week.
Every spring the Opera spends a week at the Miller Outdoor Theater (yes outside in Houston it's only supposed to be 90 degrees everyday this week). This year I'll be joining the staff as the Assistant Director. Though I've been surrounded by amazing AD's for years now, who make my job easier as a stage manager, I have no idea what I'm doing. Now in my defense it might be because the last time I saw this show I was in the midst of undergoing cancer treatment so it's a little foggy. Really though I think it's because AD's like Little Ms. Bossy, Airstream Diva and the Hot Cyclist just do it so well you don't know how difficult it is. So while Baby Chang and Mama Chang are hanging out, I'll be pretending I know what to do and trying to make it look easy.
On Thursday Prairie Dad and I threw a little party for her in a hotel in Dallas. Many of the Little House cast came and sang happy birthday, ate cake with Prairie Dad's favorite ice cream and drank champagne. Now if you had asked before the party I would have been convinced Baby Chang would dive into the cake with both hands. Boy was I wrong, she didn't even touch the thing. I'm not sure she's actually related to me either because she had two bites of ice cream then nothing. Even when she saw Mommy and Daddy eating she wanted none of it, she could not be bothered.
Fast forward to Friday night and cake #2 again nothing. Well, today could have explained a lot. It was off to the ER for Baby Chang. Since Wednesday she had been running a fever off and on. Last night it seemed to come back with a vengeance and today she seemed a little sluggish. She did great while they checked her ears and throat and didn't even wince when they inserted the thermometer...rectally, and she only cried a little when they put in a catheter to check for an urinary tract infection. All was well, no infection just a little virus that we can't do anything about. Well a virus and teething (which I've been assured isn't causing the fever). Finally, today a tooth started to make an appearance. I couldn't be happier or more miserable watching her go through all of this when nothing seems to make her feel better. Luckily Mama Chang is here for lots of cuddling because did I mention I'm back at work this week.
Every spring the Opera spends a week at the Miller Outdoor Theater (yes outside in Houston it's only supposed to be 90 degrees everyday this week). This year I'll be joining the staff as the Assistant Director. Though I've been surrounded by amazing AD's for years now, who make my job easier as a stage manager, I have no idea what I'm doing. Now in my defense it might be because the last time I saw this show I was in the midst of undergoing cancer treatment so it's a little foggy. Really though I think it's because AD's like Little Ms. Bossy, Airstream Diva and the Hot Cyclist just do it so well you don't know how difficult it is. So while Baby Chang and Mama Chang are hanging out, I'll be pretending I know what to do and trying to make it look easy.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Don't Cry for Me...
In the past year I have had an extreme change in my weight. A year ago I was at my heaviest awaiting the birth of Baby Chang. Within two weeks after she was born I was down 29 lbs (she weighed in at 8lb 10 oz). Both my OB and I were shocked. I mush admit I was ecstatic I had already taken off all the pregnancy weight I had gained and then some.
Over the next few months I lost more weight thanks to breastfeeding. I couldn't have been happier. Without trying I had gone from a pre-pregnancy size 16 to a size 10. It helped that I was working full time and trying to be a single parent since Prairie Dad was on the road. I often ended up eating a sandwich or something that could be made with little to no noise in an effort to not wake up a sleeping baby, which is a little limiting I must admit.
Then came the cancer diagnosis. Doctors encouraged me to gain as much weight as possible from December 3 through the beginning of my treatments. This was more difficult than one would think. After years of teaching myself portion and calorie control it was hard to just let loose and eat whatever I wanted. Had I known then what I know now I would have eaten very differently. I would have had meals that consisted of nothing but cookies and ice cream or Tex Mex meals drowning in queso, guacamole and salsa. These are the foods I miss the most right now...
By the end of my cancer treatment I was down another 30 pounds. I lost another five after I stopped using my feeding tube and started eating solid food again. Again I am under doctor's orders to gain weight or at the very least not to lose anymore. Now I wear a size 2 or 4 comfortably. Trust me that is a sentence I never thought I would utter and I'm not sure how long it will be true.
For most of my life I have struggled with my weight. I remember being on Weight Watchers before points and long before I could drive. I was never able to share clothes with my sister or my friends. I'll never forget the day that I tried to convince myself that a size 14 at Lane Bryant was the way a 14 should fit and it didn't matter that I was shopping at a store I swore I would never have to shop in.
Until yesterday I didn't see the dramatic change that everyone else was seeing. When I looked in the mirror I saw the same body flaws I had always seen along with a few new ones. Yesterday the family and I drove to Dallas where Prairie Dad is performing for a couple weeks. When I changed for bed and looked in the hotel mirror I finally saw it. I now understand how shocking it must be especially for friends and family I haven't seen in awhile. Prairie Dad is still trying to figure out what happened to my boobs and butt.
I'm not sure I'll get used to being able to wear a dress and not have my thighs rub together. Or grabbing a small instead of an extra large when looking at clothes.
Right now I will admit I'm a little nervous about gaining too much weight back but wouldn't mind a few extra pounds. I am eating whatever I want in whatever quantities I can just in an attempt to get enough calories to fuel my recovery. Since I'm still limited in what I can eat (sweets still taste terrible, spicy food sets my mouth on fire and if something is too dry I can't swallow it) I'm eating food I haven't eaten in years. My counters are covered in processed foods which I try not to think about which goes against everything I believe or that I am reading about not having my cancer return.
Once I can truly eat whatever I want I will eat as much organic food as I can afford and focus on fresh foods again. For now it just is what it is and I have to be okay with that. In six months it will be interesting to update this post and see where the scale and I have landed.
Over the next few months I lost more weight thanks to breastfeeding. I couldn't have been happier. Without trying I had gone from a pre-pregnancy size 16 to a size 10. It helped that I was working full time and trying to be a single parent since Prairie Dad was on the road. I often ended up eating a sandwich or something that could be made with little to no noise in an effort to not wake up a sleeping baby, which is a little limiting I must admit.
Then came the cancer diagnosis. Doctors encouraged me to gain as much weight as possible from December 3 through the beginning of my treatments. This was more difficult than one would think. After years of teaching myself portion and calorie control it was hard to just let loose and eat whatever I wanted. Had I known then what I know now I would have eaten very differently. I would have had meals that consisted of nothing but cookies and ice cream or Tex Mex meals drowning in queso, guacamole and salsa. These are the foods I miss the most right now...
By the end of my cancer treatment I was down another 30 pounds. I lost another five after I stopped using my feeding tube and started eating solid food again. Again I am under doctor's orders to gain weight or at the very least not to lose anymore. Now I wear a size 2 or 4 comfortably. Trust me that is a sentence I never thought I would utter and I'm not sure how long it will be true.
For most of my life I have struggled with my weight. I remember being on Weight Watchers before points and long before I could drive. I was never able to share clothes with my sister or my friends. I'll never forget the day that I tried to convince myself that a size 14 at Lane Bryant was the way a 14 should fit and it didn't matter that I was shopping at a store I swore I would never have to shop in.
Until yesterday I didn't see the dramatic change that everyone else was seeing. When I looked in the mirror I saw the same body flaws I had always seen along with a few new ones. Yesterday the family and I drove to Dallas where Prairie Dad is performing for a couple weeks. When I changed for bed and looked in the hotel mirror I finally saw it. I now understand how shocking it must be especially for friends and family I haven't seen in awhile. Prairie Dad is still trying to figure out what happened to my boobs and butt.
I'm not sure I'll get used to being able to wear a dress and not have my thighs rub together. Or grabbing a small instead of an extra large when looking at clothes.
Right now I will admit I'm a little nervous about gaining too much weight back but wouldn't mind a few extra pounds. I am eating whatever I want in whatever quantities I can just in an attempt to get enough calories to fuel my recovery. Since I'm still limited in what I can eat (sweets still taste terrible, spicy food sets my mouth on fire and if something is too dry I can't swallow it) I'm eating food I haven't eaten in years. My counters are covered in processed foods which I try not to think about which goes against everything I believe or that I am reading about not having my cancer return.
Once I can truly eat whatever I want I will eat as much organic food as I can afford and focus on fresh foods again. For now it just is what it is and I have to be okay with that. In six months it will be interesting to update this post and see where the scale and I have landed.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies out there. This is my first Mother's Day as a mom. Last year at this time I was eagerly awaiting the arrival of Baby Chang. This year I was woken up at 7:00 a.m. by a very small foot in my face. It was quickly followed up by a very loud "HI" and the sharing of the sacred pacifier.
Though Prairie Dad had two shows today and I did laundry, dishes, swept the floors and packed for our trip to Dallas it has been a delightful day. We had lunch with Prairie Grandma and Grandpa followed by a nap on the couch with Baby Chang. While waiting for Prairie Dad between shows Baby Chang and I got to take a leisurely walk along the Bayou.
One of my favorite times of day is bath time. It is just me and Baby Chang, no tv, no phone just lots of splashing and smiles. There is no better way to wind down at the end of the day.
Though Prairie Dad had two shows today and I did laundry, dishes, swept the floors and packed for our trip to Dallas it has been a delightful day. We had lunch with Prairie Grandma and Grandpa followed by a nap on the couch with Baby Chang. While waiting for Prairie Dad between shows Baby Chang and I got to take a leisurely walk along the Bayou.
One of my favorite times of day is bath time. It is just me and Baby Chang, no tv, no phone just lots of splashing and smiles. There is no better way to wind down at the end of the day.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
A Second Opinion
I went to the ENT this week and the PET Scan was confirmed. The second opinion was as good as the first I am in remission. Still a week later it means as much as it did when I got the call last week.
Unfortunately it doesn't mean I'm back to my old self. I still get exhausted pretty quickly and there is a lot of food I still can't eat. Not to mention that margarita that is calling my name is still a few months a way.
Prairie Dad has been here for almost two weeks and it has been crazy. We seem to have a hard time sticking to a schedule, or rather sticking to Baby Chang's schedule. This has made for some interesting nights. Someday I hope to give her some consistency. In a week she will be a year old (I KNOW I CAN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER) it has been an interesting year to say the least. As a result of our crazy year Baby Chang hasn't slept in the same place for two months in a row. Hopefully that will all change this summer.
We have started looking for a bigger place here in Houston but that has been slow going. Our search area is pretty limited since I want to stay within 10 minutes of Baby Chang's daycare. We aren't asking for much a rental house or townhouse with two or three bedrooms, covered attached parking, a larger kitchen, and a washer and dryer in the house. Oh and if it didn't smell that would be great. Really, is that too much to ask?
Unfortunately it doesn't mean I'm back to my old self. I still get exhausted pretty quickly and there is a lot of food I still can't eat. Not to mention that margarita that is calling my name is still a few months a way.
Prairie Dad has been here for almost two weeks and it has been crazy. We seem to have a hard time sticking to a schedule, or rather sticking to Baby Chang's schedule. This has made for some interesting nights. Someday I hope to give her some consistency. In a week she will be a year old (I KNOW I CAN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER) it has been an interesting year to say the least. As a result of our crazy year Baby Chang hasn't slept in the same place for two months in a row. Hopefully that will all change this summer.
We have started looking for a bigger place here in Houston but that has been slow going. Our search area is pretty limited since I want to stay within 10 minutes of Baby Chang's daycare. We aren't asking for much a rental house or townhouse with two or three bedrooms, covered attached parking, a larger kitchen, and a washer and dryer in the house. Oh and if it didn't smell that would be great. Really, is that too much to ask?
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