As we are coming to a close on our time in Berkeley I've been thinking a lot about the things I'll miss about California. So for fun I thought I'd share them with you.
1. Lollipop Guy - Even though I only saw him once he definitely made a lasting impact. Early one morning while on a walk with Baby Chang (I'm pretty sure we were picking up donuts) I hear a man yelling from across the street "Hey Lollipop lady, Lollipop lady!". I turned to look and he exclaims "yeah you, you're the Lollipop Lady. I want to put you on a stick and lick you all day!"
2. TV Homeless lady - On one of my first mornings in Berkeley I saw a woman who I swear all TV homeless people are based upon. As she made her way to me she was having a conversation with her imaginary cohorts. She very loudly declared "no I WILL pay full price!" I'm not sure what she is paying full price for but I hope it's worth it...
3. Pumpkin Curry - It has been quite sometime since I've been able to enjoy Green Curry from the Thai restaurant near work due to the spiciness. Berkeley has come to the rescue with luscious Pumpkin Curry. It is a red curry with large chunks of pumpkin and coconut milk in the sauce. I still needed a very large glass of milk to cut the spice but I will be dreaming about Pumpkin Curry.
4. C.R.E.A.M. - This is a cookie/ice cream shop where they will make you an ice cream sandwich with warm cookies right from the oven and delicious homemade ice cream. A plain cookie will set you back $.65 while a whole cookie sandwich will run you $2.00. It actually stands for Cookies Rule Everything Around Me. Enough Said!
5. What's My Name Guy - Sitting outside of C.R.E.A.M. is a very large man who sits on a bench screaming "WHAT'S MY NAME?" to anyone that passes by. In response to his own question he screams an answer that is somewhere between the roar of a bear and the Arghh of a pirate. He follows that with "Yeah that's my name" He can be heard four blocks away.
6. There aren't many places that you can drive an hour and a half (or less)and see just about anything you want. A few we enjoyed: Santa Cruz boardwalk, Wine Country, Point Reyes National Seashore, Sacramento (the capitol). While you drive that 90 minutes you could possibly see a 20 - 25 degree temperature change....
Though I'm not sure the sign on the back of my car will ever read "California or Bust" it has been a great month and I wouldn't mind visiting again soon!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
My Worst Fear Coming True
Yep, my worst fear is coming true. I CAN'T STOP EATING JUNK FOOD!!!!
When I started eating solid food again my Dad and I had a bit of a disagreement about how much food I should be eating as well as what I should be eating. In his (very wise) opinion it didn't matter what I was eating I just needed to eat and eat as many calories as possible to regain strength and weight. For me I knew that it had taken me years to eat the healthy diet I was eating before my NPC diagnosis. I was very scared that if I just let all of that go, I would have a very hard time going back.
At the time we had this discussion I was desperate to get off the feeding tube. Though I wasn't using it all day I was still getting nearly 750 calories as well as lots of nutrients over night through the tube and the pump. In my mind there was no way I could take care of Baby Chang if I was still on the feeding tube. But I knew I wasn't eating enough calories during the day to come close to getting what my body needed if I stopped the evening feedings.
So, I followed my Dad's advice and ate whatever I could. For about a month I lived on hot dogs, poached eggs and grilled ham and cheese sandwiches with lots of mayo. All were slimy enough to not need much saliva and taste wise they seemed close to what I remembered. Once I could expand my menu I gave myself license to eat whatever I wanted. Until recently that menu didn't involve sweets, alcohol or anything spicy, even black pepper was too much.
As my taste buds slowly returned, my eating habits continued along the vein of whatever, whenever. Now I can't stop eating junk. If I don't get my daily dose of chocolate chip cookies I can't be responsible for my actions. I'm starting to believe pizza is a recognized food group. I start the day making very healthy decisions sometimes I even make it through lunch. Then we'll walk past a bakery or donut shop and all bets are off.
Somehow this must stop! I don't think I get to play the "I'm recovering from cancer" card much longer. In fact, as I'm writing this I'm making my way through a pint of double dark chocolate gelato and trying to decide whether or not to have a chips and salsa chaser.
When I started eating solid food again my Dad and I had a bit of a disagreement about how much food I should be eating as well as what I should be eating. In his (very wise) opinion it didn't matter what I was eating I just needed to eat and eat as many calories as possible to regain strength and weight. For me I knew that it had taken me years to eat the healthy diet I was eating before my NPC diagnosis. I was very scared that if I just let all of that go, I would have a very hard time going back.
At the time we had this discussion I was desperate to get off the feeding tube. Though I wasn't using it all day I was still getting nearly 750 calories as well as lots of nutrients over night through the tube and the pump. In my mind there was no way I could take care of Baby Chang if I was still on the feeding tube. But I knew I wasn't eating enough calories during the day to come close to getting what my body needed if I stopped the evening feedings.
So, I followed my Dad's advice and ate whatever I could. For about a month I lived on hot dogs, poached eggs and grilled ham and cheese sandwiches with lots of mayo. All were slimy enough to not need much saliva and taste wise they seemed close to what I remembered. Once I could expand my menu I gave myself license to eat whatever I wanted. Until recently that menu didn't involve sweets, alcohol or anything spicy, even black pepper was too much.
As my taste buds slowly returned, my eating habits continued along the vein of whatever, whenever. Now I can't stop eating junk. If I don't get my daily dose of chocolate chip cookies I can't be responsible for my actions. I'm starting to believe pizza is a recognized food group. I start the day making very healthy decisions sometimes I even make it through lunch. Then we'll walk past a bakery or donut shop and all bets are off.
Somehow this must stop! I don't think I get to play the "I'm recovering from cancer" card much longer. In fact, as I'm writing this I'm making my way through a pint of double dark chocolate gelato and trying to decide whether or not to have a chips and salsa chaser.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
A sight for sore eyes
Well, it has been some time (obviously) not because I haven't had time, I just haven't had much to say lately. Since I last wrote I had my annual PET scan. I'm still processing that information it has taken me awhile to be willing to write about it. When I went in to meet with my oncologist to get the results he reminded me that the most stressful part of being a cancer survivor was the follow-up tests. Right now for me they come every six months alternating CAT scans and PET scans.
Going in to the test I had no fear. In the month prior to the test I had seen both my Radiation Oncologist and my Cancer ENT and had been given a clean bill of health. So you can imagine the shock when I was told the scan wasn't clean. There were some very, very small spots on my lymph nodes. Spots that physically no one could feel and they are so small a needle biopsy isn't an option either.
However, my Oncologist wasn't that concerned but he planned on speaking with my other doctors to get their opinions. As of right now none of them are concerned. A million things could have caused these spots. So we are in a wait and see kind of pattern. At the end of the summer I will go through the next round of doctor appointments and then they will determine if a new scan is necessary.
Most days I don't even think about it. Other days when it crosses my mind I am completely comfortable with the idea that "it's nothing to be worried about." I guess today is a day when I needed other people to know what was happening. Not really because I'm worried but because I needed to get it off my chest and since you have all been along for this ride I thought I would share. I'm just a giver that way.
In other news Baby Chang turned two. TWO I'm definitely in denial where that is concerned. Except on the days when it is oh so evident she is two. Like the time I almost left her at the San Francisco Airport. Instead we had a 20 minute stand off. I would like to think I won that one but really sitting at baggage claim, close to tears, waiting for a two year old to decide she'd like to do what I wanted probably isn't winning.
We are currently spending our days in Berkeley, CA with Prairie Dad who is performing with Cal Shakes. Berkeley is a strange and wonderful place. I've been running through the UC Berkeley campus and enjoying it's beauty. I also started taking Bikram Yoga classes. Really this is my kind of workout the room is 100+ degrees so even when you are just laying down you are sweating. Unfortunately the vertigo is back with a vengeance making Bikram a little tough...
On that note I had to see a doctor here (hey I made it almost six months with no illness). I knew I was in California when I was filling out the forms before my appointment and for sex my options were male, female, or transgender. Only in California!
Going in to the test I had no fear. In the month prior to the test I had seen both my Radiation Oncologist and my Cancer ENT and had been given a clean bill of health. So you can imagine the shock when I was told the scan wasn't clean. There were some very, very small spots on my lymph nodes. Spots that physically no one could feel and they are so small a needle biopsy isn't an option either.
However, my Oncologist wasn't that concerned but he planned on speaking with my other doctors to get their opinions. As of right now none of them are concerned. A million things could have caused these spots. So we are in a wait and see kind of pattern. At the end of the summer I will go through the next round of doctor appointments and then they will determine if a new scan is necessary.
Most days I don't even think about it. Other days when it crosses my mind I am completely comfortable with the idea that "it's nothing to be worried about." I guess today is a day when I needed other people to know what was happening. Not really because I'm worried but because I needed to get it off my chest and since you have all been along for this ride I thought I would share. I'm just a giver that way.
In other news Baby Chang turned two. TWO I'm definitely in denial where that is concerned. Except on the days when it is oh so evident she is two. Like the time I almost left her at the San Francisco Airport. Instead we had a 20 minute stand off. I would like to think I won that one but really sitting at baggage claim, close to tears, waiting for a two year old to decide she'd like to do what I wanted probably isn't winning.
We are currently spending our days in Berkeley, CA with Prairie Dad who is performing with Cal Shakes. Berkeley is a strange and wonderful place. I've been running through the UC Berkeley campus and enjoying it's beauty. I also started taking Bikram Yoga classes. Really this is my kind of workout the room is 100+ degrees so even when you are just laying down you are sweating. Unfortunately the vertigo is back with a vengeance making Bikram a little tough...
On that note I had to see a doctor here (hey I made it almost six months with no illness). I knew I was in California when I was filling out the forms before my appointment and for sex my options were male, female, or transgender. Only in California!
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